Crap I Eat (And Drink)

LudoTruck Chicken Balls

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 11:36:15 -0800

Chef Ludo Lefebvre is known mostly for his pop-up restaurants, LudoBites. But he also runs a food truck called LudoTruck, which was just featured on Anthony Bourdain’s new show The Layover (the L.A. Episode). I’d actually eaten at this truck before the episode, but hearing Bourdain nom nom nom on the chicken from this truck reminded me how damn delicious it was.

There’s the truck in all it’s glory at the first annual Del Mar Gourmet Food Truck Festival. I appreciate they have to add the word Gourmet in there in case people are confused and think this is a festival of shitty, mediocre food trucks. We’re having a food truck festival. Waaaait a minute….is this a GOURMET food truck festival, or one of those crappy food truck festivals?

Upon closer inspection you can see that this is in fact a Gourmet food truck.

Now let’s take a look at the menu for this bad boy, which is almost ENTIRELY chicken. I take that as a good sign. They know what they do well and they don’t bother messing around with anything else. You don’t like chicken? Too bad. (Who doesn’t like chicken though?)

Everything sounded pretty delicious to me, but I thought the Provencal Pepittes, aka, chicken balls, would be the most interesting item. I appreciate the claim from the menu that they are “not for the flavor weak.” Also they claim to provide “explosions of flavor and texture.” It’s almost like I wrote the menu description. Actually, if I wrote it, it would sound something like this:

Provencal Peppites - the most succulent, crunchtacular chicken you will ever have in spherical form in your life. Ideal with the Bearnaise dipping sauce, which you WILL want to drink (don’t worry we won’t judge).

And there they are in all their glory, complete with the Bearnaise sauce and the fresh coleslaw with jalepeno. Amazing. These things were so good that I contemplated immediately lining up for the truck again as soon as I took my first bite. My only complaint with these is that they should be served in a bucket, in dozens. With the Bernaise sauce slathered over it like popcorn butter. Mmmmmmmmmm. Now that, would be amazing.

You can check out the LudoTruck schedule and menu here.

Nom Rating: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM (Eight Noms - “Gourmet” Noms)

Fine Tijuana Dining

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 20:35:50 -0800

What’s the first thing you think of when you think of Tijuana. Whatever it is, it’s probably not gourmet food and fine dining. Unless of course you consider a bag of churros from a street cart that also, frighteningly, sells oysters, to be fine dining.

But lo and behold, fine dining in Tijuana exists:

Mision 19 (and no I didn’t spell that wrong, see proof in napkin-form above) is a relatively new restaurant in Tijuana, just minutes from the TJ-San Diego border. Being the adventurous sort, I wandered down to Tijuana a few weeks ago to try it out. Of course, I’m not so adventurous that I went at night. And I went with a friend who lives in Tijuana. And I left before it got dark. But I was still in Mexico, so at least it was more adventurous than a trip to Chipotle.

The restaurant itself was located in a ritzy, modern office building that made me confident that I was definitely not going to get stabbed. Inside the restaurant, huge railway spikes hung from the ceiling, and other random decorative crap on the walls assured me that this was in fact a high end eatery. Which meant I needed to order a high end drink.

That’s where this guy came in:

It was a mezcal cocktail with candied orange peel, kiwi, and fruit puree. The rim was lined, like all things in Mexico, with chili powder (and sugar - unlike most things in Mexico, except for churros). I expected a drink with mezcal and chili powder to be a lot more manly looking - please don’t judge me for my amateurish mistake.

After having a classy cocktail, I thought of the next classy thing I would need to truly relish this high end experience. Naturally, my next thought was oysters. Eating oysters makes me feel classy. Even when I cover them in horseradish and cocktail sauce. These ones were truly special though.

Those mouthwatering bites were filled with queso fresco, a Mexican cheese, along with green onion, chicharron, and some sort of soy based broth. Absolutely phenomenal. These were a truly decadent experience.

After the oysters my friends and I went for the big ticket fatty items - duck, tuna, and the ultimate fat attack - pork belly.

Now anyone who knows me knows my ridiculous obsession for pomegranates. I will literally put them on just about anything. These duck breast slices were absolutely delicious. Succulent and juicy on the inside, crispy on the outside. And the pomegranate seeds didn’t hurt. The other garnishes on the plate were pretty forgettable though, which is probably a good thing. Who wants to remember the garnish more than the dish?

Next up was the tuna.

I completely agree with what you’re thinking right now. What the hell is going on with this plate? Pink tuna, scary looking mushrooms, orange sauce, foam, and … flowers? Yeah it was pretty odd, to say the least. Apparently this is what qualifies as fine dining, making equal-sized piles of bizarre looking food. And honestly, the mushrooms, which were pickled, tasted about as terrible as they look. The tuna itself was pretty good, but come on! This dish was just ridiculous.

Finally, the key to true gluttonous glory, a piece of meat that is more fat than protein, the pork belly:

You might be saying to yourself, there is a lot going on here, where is the pork belly? Well it’s hiding underneath that cinnamon stick, the asparagus, the crackling paper (no idea what that is, but this is what the menu says the wafer thing on the left is), and yes, more flower petals. But, unlike the tuna dish, this one actually worked. While I could literally see the fat added to my stomach with each bite, it was worth it. The skin was perfectly crispy and the fatty underbelly just melted in your mouth. If only the cholesterol wasn’t also melting into my arteries.

Who am I kidding, I don’t actually care about fat consumption. You want proof? Take these two desserts we ordered after these fat-strosities.

This was supposed to be honey panna cotta. I assure you, looking panna cotta up on wikipedia will not yield a picture of two cylinders of dessert. Still, the white cylinders themselves were actually pretty good - they tasted more or less like pudding. The pistachio crumbs you see surrounding it, which was supposed to be “pistachio brittle,” was also quite tasty. The red blob you see leaning up against the panna cotta is where things started to break down (which is probably right around the time they threw flowers on this dish and called it a day). It was a mixture of pineapple, sage, and berries, but extremely concentrated. Like a dried up fruit roll up mixed with an astropop. And, much like an astropop, we all almost lost a tooth trying to take a bite out of it.

Luckily, the final dish of the meal was, by far, my favorite. This one dish (along with the oysters) really made the experience for me.

Donuts.

Yes, I ordered donuts at a high end restaurant.

And they were the greatest donuts of all time.

First of all, bonus points for being on a stick. All food on a stick is great. But more importantly, what was really amazing about these donuts was the accompaniments. These freshly made, honey glazed donuts, delicious in their own right, were enhanced by this tasty trio. Vanilla ice cream, chocolate creme brulee, and wine and berry sauce. The trick was to mash as much ice cream and creme brulee on each donut as possible. Halfway through I started cutting the donuts in half so I could maximize the addition of toppings. Absolutely stunning.

Nom Rating: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM (Eight Noms - Montezuma’s Revenge-Free TJ Nommage)

Korean BBQ Street Festival

Wed, 12 Oct 2011 10:15:06 -0700

I love street festivals because I get to eat a ton of different things and it’s perfectly socially acceptable. I also love korean bbq, because it’s delicious. Who doesn’t like meat marinated in different sauces and grilled to perfection? No one I dare say, no one. I went to the third annual Korean BBQ cookoff in Korea Town a while back and just about died of flavor overload.

One of the first things I tried was grilled pork two different ways. One was marinated in wine, and the other in herbs. Both were quite tasty, especially with the nomtacular spicy kimchi served on the side.

This was just a mere sampling of what the restaurant had to offer. Not satisfied with offering a measly two flavors of grilled pork, this place gives you a set of food where you get EIGHT kinds.

I mean just look at that. True bbq pork overload. Sadly I only got to try two flavors at the street festival, but luckily there were hundreds of other flavors elsewhere to try.

Next up was some short ribs and kimchi rice. The rice was actually really tasty. But who cares? We’re not here to talk about rice, which is only one step up from vegetables on the scale of interesting food, at best. We’re here to talk about meat. This was the most tender, flavorful cut of short ribs I’ve ever had in my life. I might have actually made nom nom nom sounds while eating it, which no doubt disgusted and appalled the friend I was with. Completely worth it though.

That broccoli had no place on that plate. I threw it in the garbage (not really).

Finally, there was one item that I had at the street fest that shocked and amazed me. Korean BBQ sausages. Now no doubt your first reaction is similar to what mine was - gross, that sounds terrible, no way that is good.

False.

It is not just good. It’s damn bloody awesome. They had two kinds. One was kalbi flavored and one was spicy pork flavored. The kalbi one came with kimchi-relish and garlic-jalepeno aioli. The combination is just amazingly flavorful. I mean seriously I could have eaten six of these. However, by the time we came back to their tent there were about two billion people in line and they were slow as hell making them, so unfortunately, these two had to do. The spicy pork sausage came with apple cabbage slaw, but I also covered it in the garlic jalepeno-aioli anyway because sauce makes everything better. You can check these guys out at seoulsausage.com and twitter (if you’re into that sort of thing): @seoulsausage. Now for the devastating news - they only have catering right now, however, I am pestering them pretty frequently and they are bound to either get a restraining order against me or open up a shop any day now. Yes, these are really that good. No, I’m not kidding.

The kalbi on the side was tasty but unrelated and not nearly as good.

Overall Nom Rating: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM (Ten Noms - Unlimited Nommage)

Vancouver Night Market: Gourmand League Assemble!!

Thu, 01 Sep 2011 23:54:36 -0700

As an official member of the Gourmand League I was called in to Vancouver to go check out the Asian Night Market. What’s the Gourmand League you ask?

Only the most prestigious eating organization known to man:

Ok, not really, but it is a pretty sweet name for a food tent.

The night market in Vancouver is pure awesomeness. Stalls upon stalls of food. Some questionable. Some delicious. Some frightening. But all very interesting if nothing else.

This is just one of the alleys of tents set up to serve people tasty tasty late night eats. With so many vendors people were trying a ton of different things to try and get customers to come eat there. The Gourmand League was going for the prestige route. Others, went with the subtle route:

Oh well shit, I wasn’t going to get any, but if you say it’s delicious. I can’t really argue with that.

Ok, enough with the intro, let’s get to what everyone came here for: the noms.

Nom #1:

Meat in a cup! No, that was definitely not the name of the item on the menu, because frankly that sounds terrible. In this cup are skewers of marinated chicken, beef, and pork, grilled to perfection. Pretty tasty stuff, but this was just a warm up. This was by far the least exotic thing we ate. I had to work up to some of the other stuff.

Nom the Second:

What is that you ask? It looks frightening you say? It’s enoki mushrooms wrapped with grilled teriyaki beef. Something scary wrapped in something familiar and comforting. Sadly though, this wasn’t that good. It was about as scary tasting as it looks. The mushrooms had a really weird texture. It was one of those things where you try to eat it really quickly so that you taste it as little as possible. Meh, I tried.

Nom #3:

Mmmm dumplings. Who doesn’t like dumplings? The white ones were shrimp dumplings and they were amazing. Although I may have given myself third degree mouth burns trying to eat them. That’s the price to pay for flavor sometimes. The other dumpling was pork, and it was also very tasty. Let’s face it though, it’s pretty hard to screw up dumplings.

It’s time to get serious, Nom #4:

Squid man over here is cooking half of the squid in the sea. For some reason the sight of all this food was mesmerizing. I mean if you’re cooking this much of something, it’s gotta be good. Right? Right?

Believe it or not, these were really quite good. We actually had squid a few different ways and these were the best.

Nom #5:

These were by far my favorite item. Deep fried crab claws with a thai sweet and spicy sauce. Absolutely delicious. It was very simple, there was nothing in these besides crab. Just the way it should be with crab, no need to mess around with a bunch of other crap. The crab was sweet and succulent and the sauce gave it just enough kick. The only problem with these was the third degree mouth burn problem again. Worth it.

By this point in the night it was getting pretty late. Naturally, some of the vendors were looking to get rid of their food. DEEP DISCOUNT TIME. Booyah. Nothing says delicious like savings.

Nom #6:

This guy was the king of the grilled skewer. He had a headset on so he could should motivational slogans at his co-workers, put the good word out about the deliciousness of the food they serve, and, perhaps most importantly, mock those who walked by without getting one. I am not entirely sure how this man did not burn both of his hands off because the flame on the grill was ridiculous. He would just slap down a big pile of skewers and grease and fire would go everywhere.

Just as expected, this skewers here did not disappoint. They put a ton of spicy seasoning on them and they were really tender. Flavorrific and cheap. What a great way to end the evening.

Gourmand League…out.

Nom Rating: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM (Seven Noms - Exotic, Sometimes Scary Noms)

Relate Pop-Up Restaurant Finale

Mon, 22 Aug 2011 12:33:06 -0700

For those who haven’t heard of it, a pop-up restaurant is a new concept where a chef will bring a high end menu to a random spot for a short period of time. Often they are set up in a cheap spot so that the chef can break out the mouth watering, expensive ingredients, while charging a slightly-less-mind-numbing price.

Earlier this year I went to a pop up restaurant in Encinitas called Relate, run by Chef Dan Moody (@ChefDRM). I have been a lazy, lazy bum, and it has taken me more than six months to finally write about all of it. But, here is the final round up of this absolutely spectacular meal.If you haven’t read parts one, two, and three, start there:

First Course: Roasted Baby Beet Salad with Golden Beet Vinaigrette

Second Course: Butter Poached Lobster!

Third Course: Rabbit Cassoulet

And now, on to the last two courses:

First off, Spiced steak with spinach avocado puree, crispy porcini spaetzle, black truffle, and a green flash double stout gastrique. Sounds intense right? It was.

What’s the first thing I noticed? Just look at how perfectly that steak is cooked. What’s the second thing I noted? This dish is just plain weird. Let’s be honest. I mean look at that thing. What the hell is going on? There is a lot of random stuff and a lot of colors going on.

But damn if it wasn’t delicious. As crazy as all of those things were, they worked pretty well together. The crispy porcini spaetzle was tastetacular. I enjoyed the extravagance of the black truffle on there too. Plus seeing stuff like that on your plate you can’t help but think, oh yeah…getting my money’s worth!

Nom Rating: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM (Six Noms - Oddly delicious)

Now by this point I’ve had an amuse bouche and four courses, I’m on a culinary high right now. But you can’t go all out for dinner if you don’t have dessert. Luckily there was an awesome one to end things with:

That gooey mass of deliciousness is Chef Moody’s take on smoked s’mores. Now this starts off simple enough, with graham crackers. That’s where the simplicity ends. Agave mashmallow. Chipotle-orange ganache. Tequila Creme Anglaise. Calling this a s’more is just downright insulting. It’s so much more than that. This dessert was extremely tasty. Big time plate licking on this one.

Nom Rating: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM (Eight Noms - S’mores on crack)

Now I just have to hope there are more pop up restaurants around me as good as this one. I’m hooked.

BBQ + Mac and Cheese = Ridiculously Excessive Deliciousness

Thu, 18 Aug 2011 13:05:05 -0700

There are few things more craveable than bbq. Fall-apart-tender smoked or grilled meat, sweet and tangy bbq sauce everywhere (mostly on your face and white shirt), and a smile on your face. That’s pretty much every bbq experience.

But what’s one thing that says comfort food for pretty much everyone? Mac and Cheese. Or as my Canadian Comrades would say, Kraft Dinner, or simply, KD. I’ve learned through several years of living here and being ruthlessly mocked every time I said Kraft Dinner that I should just stick with saying Mac and Cheese here in America (Oh and in case you are curious we apparently also say sorry and pasta “wrong,” thanks Jeff.)

I am terrible at choosing between delicious options. Luckily, places like Super Q Food Truck make that problem go away.

There’s the truck, and as you can see there is a superhero whose powers apparently are pretty much limited to what I can only assume is “incredibly accurate bbq sauce application” power. He also seems to have some sort of radioactive green bbq tongs, possibly laced with kryptonite to keep superman away. I don’t blame him, he probably eats a lot.

The joy of this truck is the Super Q Originals on the menu above. BBQ + Mac and cheese. No, not just on the same plate. In a sandwich, together, living in perfect harmony. I feel fat and happy just thinking about it … ok mostly fat.

But the truth is, the sandwiches are ridiculously good. The bbq is very tasty and super tender (though it’s probably no more spectacular than your average “good bbq” place). Everything in the sandwich together though, well, it just works.

Behold the perfectly buttered and crisped bread, the gooey cheese, and the bbq brisket just falling out of the sandwich. I know … this is getting graphic. And sweet potato fries on the side? I want this for lunch right now. Sadly, I have a crapload of crapiate leftovers to go through in the fridge first.

This sandwich is indulgent. No two ways about it. BBQ and mac and cheese? You’d better have a 5K planned for dessert. But whatever. It is completely worth it. One of the best food trucks I’ve had for sure.

To find Super Q: http://www.superqfoodtruck.com/bbq/find-us/

Or twitter: @SuperQFoodTruck

And for those of you who don’t think Mac and Cheese and BBQ is excessive enough:

BBQ Brisket Asada Fries. Only in America. No wonder we are a bunch of fatties.

Nom Rating: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM (Six Noms - Guilt laced deliciosity)

Deep Fried Pickles and Watermelon . . . and Beef Cheeks

Tue, 16 Aug 2011 10:01:00 -0700

I’ve been wanting to try this restaurant in San Diego called Urban Solace (@urbansolace) for a while now. I had my birthday recently so it seemed as good an excuse as any. They describe their food as “New American Comfort Food” and I couldn’t describe it any better than that so I won’t even try.

The great thing about their menu is they have a lot of really interesting, unique dishes. A lot of their items are really popular favorites that they have put a twist on.

Take for example, this beauty:

You’re looking at deep fried pickles AND watermelon. I am a total sucker for deep fried pickles and as soon as I saw them I knew I wanted to order some. With the addition of watermelon, well I thought about ordering two (dozen). Hands down these were the best deep fried pickles I’ve ever had. The breading was nicely seasoned and very crispy, and the pickle was still firm inside the breading. The watermelon? Amazing. A perfect way to make deep fried pickles in the summer (or anytime really) even better. I couldn’t have been happier with this one.

Now, on to the entrees:

We tried a few things, and these were my two favorites. First off, a chile rubbed grapefruit salad. It was super refreshing and tangy. The grapefruit really gave the salad a bite. But what really made this stand out was the amazingly flavorful chile rubbed shrimp. They had a nice spice-crust on them that gave them a burst of flavor. AND they were cooked perfectly. It was great. One of the best shrimp dishes I’ve had in a while.

But the real star was the dish that I almost didn’t order:

It may not look like much, but that chunk of meat is actually a beef cheek. Yes, it is exactly what it sounds like. I had always heard they were surprisingly delicious. Turns out, they are. It was really tender, much like a really good pot roast would be. It just fell apart and had an amazing flavor to it. The mustard and garlic jus was absolutely divine. And what looks like mashed potatoes, that’s actually mashed sweet potatoes. They were creamy like regular mashed potatoes but with a lot more flavor. All in all, I was a big fan of this place.

Now I just need more excuses to go back.

Nom Rating: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM (Eight Noms - Flavor Grenade)

Are You Ready to Get Hungry?

Mon, 25 Jul 2011 22:12:00 -0700

Steak…BOOM. Salivating yet? If you said no, close my website immediately. You are not welcome here. For the rest of us, let’s get this party started.

Imagine, if you will, a beautifully cooked steak. Picture it’s perfectly crusted exterior, and it’s juicy and succulent center. The essence of deliciousness. Now imagine a crumbling of bleu cheese on top of that steak. Gently melted, and browned to perfection, bringing out all of the flavor of the cheese.

I went to 333 Pacific restaurant in Oceanside and this is the steak I ordered. A top sirloin with a bleu cheese crust. And yes. It was everything I thought it could be and so much more. The steak itself was a perfectly cooked medium rare and was extremely tender. The bleu cheese crust complimented it perfectly, adding a little bit of bite to the richness of the steak.

But you didn’t come here to look at just one steak, and I just wouldn’t be satisfied with myself if all I showed you was one measly steak. But before we go on, make sure your mouth is not directly over your keyboard. There will be drool.

For all you steak lovers out there (a.k.a everybody on earth) I give you THREE MORE STEAKS:

Ok yes, the one on the top is also a bleu cheese crusted steak, but hey, it still counts so get off my back. The next steak down was covered with blue crab, asparagus, and Bearnaise sauce. You could put just about anything underneath that combo and I would devour it like I’d never seen food before. But when you put steak underneath? Yes, please do that. Finally, the last steak. The crispy bits on top are mini onion rings, like the kind you can buy in a can at the supermarket, except much, much, much less crappy (one might even say not crappy at all). And smothering the steak was a peppercorn demi glace. The sauce was a nice accompaniment to the steak and a great contrast from the Bearnaise and the bleu cheese.

But wait…there’s more.

If there’s one thing that should be clear by now, it’s that I love steak. And so should you. But, even I can’t eat JUST steak (though I’ve contemplated it). The last delectable item I tried at 333 Pacific was lobster mac and cheese.

Look at that piece of lobster sitting on top, just begging you to devour it. Why yes lobster, I will eat you. And you will be delicious.

I mean that’s really all I need to say about that.

Nom Rating: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM (Seven Noms - Steakalicious)

The Nomburger

Sun, 17 Jul 2011 13:30:48 -0700

Pomegranates are super popular right now, and I’m as bad an offender as anyone. I like pretty much anything with pomegranate. I wish that I had a never-ending jar of pomegranate seeds. I would sit on my couch and watch food network while gorging myself for hours on them. Sadly, no such thing exists…yet.

I have to ration my pomegranate seeds carefully while I’m waiting for the never-ending jar of pomegranate seeds to be invented. One of the things I absolutely love about them is the burst of juiciness when you bite into one. I thought of combining them with grilled burgers to keep the meat really moist and delicious and add a unique flavor.

That is the masterpiece I came up with. A delicious grilled burger with pomegranate seeds and blue cheese on top. The sweetness of the seeds plays well with the smokiness of the grilled burger and the sharpness of the blue cheese. With burgers I am all about layering flavors. So the pile of onions above is actually not just grilled onions - but a grilled red onion relish with balsamic vinegar, dijon, and rosemary. And underneath the burger are some kettle-cooked jalapeno-cheddar potato chips to add some crunch and spice to the burger. I thought the chip idea was super original and that I was some sort of culinary genius for thinking of this. Apparently though this is being done by lots of people. In fact, Bobby Flay has the term “Crunchburger” trademarked. So don’t use it. Or else. Firestorms of crunchy litigation will ensue. Well I’m going to call mine the Nomburger.

The Nomburger is the mayor of flavor country. Each bite was a flavor explosion of succulent grilled burger accented with sharp blue cheese and the incredibly juicy and flavorful pomegranate seeds. Then, the potato chips give you a delicious spicy crunch to finish every bite. And let’s not forget the savory perfection that is the grilled onion relish. Why, yes, that is drool all over my face.

Nom Rating: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM (Nine Noms - Drooltastic)

I Ate It All: Buffet Tips from a Pro

Sat, 09 Jul 2011 15:04:44 -0700

One thing I love almost as much as I love food is Vegas. The gambling, the pools, the plethora of delicious options, and of course, the ability to walk around everywhere with a drink. One thing everyone thinks about when they think of Vegas is buffets. I’ve had my fair share of delicious buffets in Vegas, but the seafood buffet at the Rio is really something special.

A special buffet calls for a special crapieat post. So I present, for all the amateurs out there (surely no one reading this website regularly): the illustrated, Buffet Tips from a Pro.

Tip #1: Scope out the buffet first. This can not be overstated. Don’t be the goober who loads up on the first tasty looking thing he sees and then misses out on the all other great stuff because he is too full. Create a plan of attack. Prioritize. I like to go for all the high dollar items because then I feel like I’m really getting my money’s worth. If you get lazy here your buffet performance will suffer, don’t half ass it, scope out everything.

Plate #1:

Notice how I start off slow, with just a few choice items. This is because I was still formulating a plan of attack. Ok, plate one is down. Time to get serious. You’d better not be getting remotely full yet. If you were full by this point I would mock your man (or woman) hood. This brings us to Tip #2: Adjust belt to most forgiving position. This ensures not only that you will have maximum room for food, but also that you won’t get that guilty “my pants feel too tight” feeling.

Plate #2

Protein, protein, protein. Carbs are delicious, but generally have no place at a buffet. I’m starting to hit my groove here.

Plate #3:

This was my triumph. Behold the ultimate mountain of seafood. At this point, I’m only going for the hits. Crab legs, lobster, escargot, mussels, and untold other sea creatures hidden underneath the massive pile of food. Other notables at the buffet were the myriad ceviche selections, the sashimi (I loaded up on salmon), and the oysters.

Now you should have noticed something by now. If not, this tip is for you: Tip #3: Minimize vegetable presence. Take a look at the plates above. Do you see a salad plate? You’re damn right you don’t. People who get salad plates at buffets belong in the same category as people who load up on the shitty pizza or hot dogs. Embarrassing. The only exception here is if the vegetable is deep fried or a direct accompaniment to meat. For example: broccoli = NO. Grilled onions on top of steak = Acceptable.

With all this protein you’re going to need something sweet to finish with. So of course, Tip #4: Don’t forget dessert:

Why yes I would like some creme brulee, some oreo ice cream, and some other concoction that looks delicious but I forget what it is.

And finally, don’t forget, you’re in Vegas, it’s hot and arid. Tip #5: Always Stay Hydrated:

A reasonable sized margarita for a reasonable man.

3 Dinner plates, 1 dessert plate, 1 giant margarita = buffet success.

Nom Rating: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM (Seven Noms - Ridicunoms)

Steak and Egg: The Sandwich of Champions

Mon, 13 Jun 2011 22:07:00 -0700

Sandwiches are normally a pretty boring lunch. But, imagine sandwiches like a french onion soup sandwich, scallop and lobster sandwich, and a crab cake and avocado sandwich…and oh yes, the steak and egg sandwich (I’m saving the best for last). At Searsucker in downtown San Diego these are the kind of sandwiches you get. I had been wanting to go to this place for a long time, enticed by their delicious descriptions of their lunch fare, and the general lack of exciting lunch places in downtown San Diego.

The one sandwich that was singularly responsible for bringing me in to the restaurant was the French Onion sandwich. The description: Gruyere, caramelized onion, and BACON JAM. Boom. Done. Sign me up. I want one.

There it is in all its creamy, sugary glory. The caramelized onions were the star of the show here. Phenomenal flavor on them. Sadly, the bacon jam was not as big of a star in the sandwich as I would have liked. Who hides bacon flavor? The irony here though was that I didn’t even order this sandwich, someone else I went with did. As good as it sounded, I was feeling like I could eat two of everything on the menu, and I needed something more substantial.

The next candidate was the Angry Rocket sandwich. This thing had lobster, scallops, garlic, chili, orange, basil, and srirracha aioli. I mean that is some mouth watering stuff right there. I am a total sucker for lobster so this was pretty damn tempting. But, I had a feeling there wouldn’t be much lobster or scallops, a common problem with virtually every seafood item on menus (except for the Admiral’s feast at Red Lobster, a formidable foe). Luckily, someone else ordered it anyway.

I mean it sure looks delicious. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to try any. But it looks so good I had to put it up here anyway. Also I feel I made the right choice, because there is clearly not a lot of lobster or scallop. This made me sad.

But there was no need to be sad. When we showed up at the restaurant I asked the waiter which sandwich was the best. At that point I felt obligated to pick whatever he said, since otherwise I would seem like a total jerk. Luckily, this guy had good taste. The Steak and Egg sandwich, he proudly proclaimed. He was so certain of it that he didn’t even bother with the usual, “but, that’s just what I like, you might like other stuff” crap. His confidence in this sandwich was well placed.

I give to you, the Sandwich of Champions:

You’re drooling aren’t you? No? Just me? Oh…

Let me break this monstrosity of deliciousness down for you. First a nice fresh toasty Ciabatta bun. There was also some salad, but I cropped it out because it was boring. Plus I wanted a gratuitous close up of the steaky goodness. Sitting on top of the bun was a roasted pepper, then a slab of absolutely fall apart tender steak. Sitting delicately atop the steak was a perfectly poached egg just waiting for that first bite to fall apart into a mess of yolk. Then, blue cheese crumbles. Finally, a roasted tomato and chipotle hollandaise. I picked this thing up and took a giant bite and knew I had found myself a winner.

As any well cooked poached egg should do, this one exploded all over the sandwich and plate, threatening to get egg crud (the technical term) all over my shirt and turn me into “that guy” at the office. I did what had to be done, I got my face into it, got my arms out of the way, and went to town on this thing. My coworkers had to look away in horror. But I was experiencing pure bliss. I have a closeup of the sandwich dripping egg yolk all over the plate, mixing with the hollandaise in an orgy of flavor, but it is just too gratituous to put on here. You’ll just have to try one yourself.

Nom Rating: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM (Nine Noms - Nomgasm)

Rum Soaked Watermelon with Goat Cheese and Mint

Thu, 09 Jun 2011 21:25:35 -0700

I was going to a bbq the other day and I needed to bring a non-meat item. That was tricky for me. I mean I can bbq any number of delicious animals, in any number of delicious ways. But a side dish … much trickier. Can’t just be lazy and make a salad. Salad is for losers. Ah, making fun of vegetables, works every time. I wanted to do something light and summerish. I saw this idea to use watermelon, goat cheese, and basil with bacon, layered in mini discs, here: http://www.themeaningofpie.com/2011/05/watermelon-and-goat-cheese-bites/. But I wanted to put my own spin on this.

My only concern was that this dish would be too half-assed and not manly enough for a bbq. Not to worry though. I know one sure fire way to make anything more manly, awesome, and delicious all at once. Soak it in alcohol.

I took painstaking care in cutting out these juicy watermelon discs using, appropriately enough, a metal jigger. Then I set them out on this plate and poured spiced rum all over them, leaving them sitting in a pool of delicious rum. I let them soak in the rum for about half an hour, just long enough for them to take on some of the rum without turning them into a pure disc of alcohol - and of course, long enough for me to appropriately sample ten or twenty of these rum soaked discs, to ensure the utmost quality. After cutting these discs came the hard part.

Along with the watermelon discs I added goat cheese, and mint. I love mint and watermelon together and I thought it would be a great refreshing treat. The hard part was cutting the goat cheese into thin discs (I used floss so it wouldn’t just crumble). I’m not going to lie, I may or may not have had to resort to smashing some pieces into little discs like they were Play-Doh. I’m not proud of it, but you gotta do what you gotta do sometimes. I mean if I was making five of these I would have taken the time to shape each one into a perfect little disc, but by the time I got to the tenth one my work product had gotten significantly crappier. Finally, to finish them off, a drizzle of tangerine flavored balsamic vinegar.

The end result?

The watermelon bites turned out great. Nothing was too overpowering. The whole thing was really refreshing. The juiciness of the watermelon went well with the creaminess of the goat cheese. And the mint provided a nice touch of sweetness, balanced by the tartness of the balsamic vinegar. All in all, not too shabby for a bbq dish without meat.

Nom Rating: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM (Seven Noms - Summer Nommage)

Magnum Double Chocolate Ice Cream Bars

Tue, 07 Jun 2011 21:42:10 -0700

The other day I heard a commercial for these Magnum ice cream bars and it said: “Now in America!” And I thought to myself, what a load of crap, I bet they are just saying that because it makes it sound exotic, it was probably never in another country to begin with. But apparently it is true, they are actually from Europe, and have been around since 1989. And anything from Europe that involves chocolate is delicious. This is an unquestionable, scientific fact. I decided I had to try some for myself.

I must say the package is pretty nice. I mean this looks like it will be delicious. Just look at that chocolate upon chocolate upon chocolate. It says double chocolate, but I see three layers of chocolate, I think they are ripping themselves off. And see that golden ring saying it is made with BELGIAN chocolate? That’s another surefire sign of success.

Boom. This thing means business. This wrapper is assuring you that what you are about to experience will no doubt be the greatest ice cream on a stick you have ever had. There was only one thing left to do and that was to rip this sucker open and see if all the hype was worth it.

That is what a chocolate explosion looks like in ice cream form. I think it’s worth pointing out that the picture on the box genuinely looks like the product itself. You can see the tasty, crunchy chocolate shell. Delicately housed inside is a darker layer of gooey chocolate. And then, the sweet, sweet chocolate ice cream itself. Again, clearly this is three layers of chocolate. But what do I know? Maybe they thought the American public was just not ready for Triple Chocolate ice cream bars. Regardless of how many choco-layers there really were, this thing was pretty damn awesome. The chocolate outer shell is exceedingly tasty. Not like the crappy chocolate shells on most ice cream bars that are thin, bland, and melt immediately. This thing is like plate armor, protecting the precious chocolate cargo. Except instead of protecting it, it just makes it more delicious and enticing. Once you get past the chocolate shell you get a blast of the gooey chocolate lava layer (Let’s pretend this is the official title). And finally the dense, creamy, satisfying chocolate ice cream gives way. All in all, this is how an ice cream bar should be done. Best ice cream on a stick ever.

Nom Rating: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM (Seven Noms - Chocotastic)

Pop Up Restaurant Part Three: Rabbit Cassoulet

Thu, 02 Jun 2011 19:46:14 -0700

A few months back I went to a pop up restaurant in Encinitas called Relate. There were five courses of varying food porn status and decadent beer pairings to go with each. The whole thing also started with an amuse-bouche that was unbelievably delicious, so much so that everyone ate theirs before I remembered to take a picture. Luckily I managed to get pictures of the rest.

If you haven’t seen my posts on the pop up restaurant itself/the first two courses, you can read them here:

First Course: Roasted Baby Beet Salad with Golden Beet Vinaigrette

Second Course: Butter Poached Lobster!

For the third course of my Relate Pop Up Restaurant experience we were served rabbit cassoulet. This was my first experience with both rabbit and cassoulet. It is a slow cooked stew with beans and meat, and yes, I did look that up on wikipedia, the great giver of knowledge. The rabbit was to honor this year being the year of the rabbit according to the Chinese Zodiac (this I knew, take that wikipedia).

With this being the first time I had tried rabbit AND cassoulet it was definitely an interesting dish:

Tada!

It kind of looks like mac and cheese to be honest. At the bottom you can see a slice of the darkish rabbit meat. The rabbit itself was quite nice. I would describe it as being like beef-lite. It wasn’t too gamey, or really all that different from slices of beef. It certainly wasn’t something I would recognize without being told what it was. The cassoulet as a whole was pretty tasty. Perhaps in another setting it would have been amazing, but with all the other delicious courses I was served, this one seemed a little bland. Everyone else loved it though, so maybe I’m crazy (-ier than I thought). It certainly wasn’t bad, it was tasty, it was like fancy comfort food. Hearty, earthy, and not too rich. Plus it was cool to say I ate rabbit.

Ps. the rabbit cassoulet was paired with a hoppy Green Flash West Coast IPA, get it? I just got that now … sad I know.

Nom Rating: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM (Five Noms - Nomrageous Noms)

Napoleons Are What God Eats When He is Hungry

Mon, 30 May 2011 12:57:42 -0700

Napoleons are surely the noms of the gods. But, surprisingly, most people I talk to don’t even know what Napoleons even are. Which is a damn shame. Hold on to your seats because I’m about to show you what may change your life forever. And by that I mean you will become clinically obese because you won’t be able to stop eating these things. I’ve officially warned you, so you’re on your own now. Here we go, BEHOLD THE MIGHTY NAPOLEON:

What is going on here you ask? Well let me tell you. First there are exquisite layers of delicately flaky pastry sheets. Let me assure you that each layer, while tiny and thin, is still packed with as much butter as physically possible. This ensures the utmost in deliciousity per square inch of thickness, a key pastry measurement that the Napoleon is unrivaled in. Now most pastries are happy with a single layer of pastry, but this is no ordinary pastry. No, my friends, this is the Napoleon. It will bestow upon your unworthy self no less than three layers of mind-blowingly delicious, flavor-burstingly ridiculous pastry intenseness. Each of these layers is itself made up of many layers of pastry, and each layer will be more decadent upon your palate than the last. And what’s that delicious creamy filling in-between you ask? Well my friends, that is sweet, sweet custard. The ying to the pastry sheets’ yang. No doubt this combination has been responsible for countless foodgasms. And the icing on top, well even I have to admit it’s mildly excessive. But hey, that’s what this thing is all about. And that’s why you will never be able to eat enough of them - trust me.

Nom Rating: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM (Ten Noms - Divine Noms)

Tandoori Chicken and Curried Roasted Cauliflower

Sat, 28 May 2011 22:42:10 -0700

I recently went to an international foods market to stock up on crazy stuff from around the world. This was quite the market too. It claimed to have Mexican, Russian, and yes, even Canadian food. Seriously, I took a photo to prove it:

And no, I have no clue what the Canadian food they were referring to was. I didn’t see any obvious Canadian food section in the store, and I’m not entirely sure what one would even describe as Canadian food. But I did manage to find a ton of great stuff at this store, including some tandoori paste.

I set off to make my version of Tandoori chicken, sans tandoor of course. It was really simple to make. I just mixed the tandoori paste with some plain yogurt and marinated some chicken thighs in the mix for a few hours. Once the meat had reached maximum flavor I took it out and grilled it on high for that tasty char. I threw some onions on the grill too because grilled onions are tasty and easy. While all that was going on I tossed some cauliflower with salt, pepper, and olive oil and roasted it in the oven. After it was nice and browned I added cumin and a heavy hand worth of curry powder.

The final product. It was delicious. The chicken was super moist and intensely flavorful and a dash of lemon really brought out the flavor of the marinade. The curried roasted cauliflower was also delicious with a smoky flavor that complimented the grilled meat quite nicely. In conclusion everything was delicious and I ate it in about 12 seconds (I was extremely hungry).

Nom Rating: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM (Six Noms - Exotic Noms)

Maximum Noms at San Diego Magazine's Best Restaurants Party

Wed, 25 May 2011 19:22:08 -0700

San Diego Magazine hosted a Best Restaurants party to promote their Best Restaurants issue. The party was hosted at Fixtures in San Diego, an upscale kitchen/home fixtures store. From the moment I walked into this party there was amazing food and insane kitchen setups and appliances that I would love to buy but will probably never be able to. The list of crazy things there includes a $20,000 seat warming toilet and a stovetop electric burner that is round and designed to hold a wok perfectly (me wantee). Deliciousness was bound to ensue at this party. I pretty much wanted to live there. That probably would have been frowned upon though so I left promptly when the party ended.

At this first station the noms to be had included a pistachio pate, pickled veggies, and fresh made sausage. A pretty tasty way to start the night. I especially enjoyed that this was literally about five feet from the entrance to the place. Maximum noms … minimum moving. That is the ideal set up. And just two feet away from this station were tasty liquid noms provided by Iron Fist Brewery.

The next stop on the nom express (Choo! Choo!) was Truluck’s for some crab with some mashed potatoes and other delicious things that I forget. It was so delicious I ate two of them and thought about eating a third, but even I have my limits.

I feel that the marble background makes it look extra classy. It sure tasted classy, so it’s appropriate. The crab was amazingly fresh and the mashed potatoes underneath were creamy and delicious. There were some vinegary things in there too that I was on the fence about, but there was crab involved so there could have been chunks of dirt in there and I still would have liked it.

Next up was pasta from Bencotto Italian Kitchen. There was a gnocchi, a fettucini, and a tortellini. Each of them was super delicious. The pasta itself was the best part. You could instantly tell that it was freshly made. My personal favorite of these three was the gnocchi, the dark colored pasta in the top right below.

After all this delicious food I was getting ready for dessert. Luckily there were cakepops on hand. Delicious but much too small. I could have eaten the entire plate of these things. And then some. Mmmm cake.

At this point I wasn’t sure whether I wanted more dessert or more dinner, a major problem. Luckily I didn’t have to choose. Next, I got this plate of fried chicken with a donut and ice cream. This is a combination that I would put together at home - finally some validation from professional chefs. Fried food, donuts, and ice cream. Together at last.

On top of all this there was also beer from another brewery, wine, and pomegranate vodka martinis (Not pictured, but I definitely drank several because they were amazing). The whole event was amazing.

And to wrap things up, here’s a wall that illustrates how to deal with a dropped food situation. It’s funny AND true.

Overall Party Nom Rating: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM (Nine Noms - Decadent Nomming)

Cupcakes + Beer (and sometimes tequila) = PubCakes

Sun, 22 May 2011 16:04:00 -0700

There’s a place in San Diego called PubCakes that has been selling cupcakes made with different kinds of beer for a while now. They just recently opened up a storefront so I decided to go check them out and see if the beer really added anything to these cupcakes.

I went with a friend of mine who has been here before and knew which ones to go for. One of their most popular is their Irish Carbomb cupcake. It’s got Guinness frosting and whiskey ganache. By far the best. Really rich and satisfying.

There it is in all it’s glory. I however, was not satisfied with trying just one. That would be pointless. Instead I would try all of them. Except for, oddly enough, the other one pictured above, the Punkin’ Vegan. I don’t want or need to have anything to do with vegan items. I want meat! Well these are cupcakes you say, there’s no meat in them you say. WRONG! The next must try pick was Beer for Breakfast. Guess what’s on top of it? That’s right, BACON. Nothing says breakfast like bacon. The bacon cupcake was made with local brewery Alesmith’s Wee Heavy (a scotch ale), bacon, and maple cream cheese frosting. It was very bacony. Very pleasing to the Canadian in me. We also tried a bunch of other ones, including one made with beer AND tequila.

The one you see up front and to the right with the crispy strips is hiding beer and tequila inside. It is called the Poquito Bandito. It’s a Negra Modelo cake, with Cazadores tequila and lime zest buttercream, and fried tortilla strips. Sadly, it was about as good as a shot of Cuervo Gold. It sounds like a good idea (well…to me it does) and then you immediately regret it afterward. Like most of these cupcakes it was really sweet. The mini sizes were definitely the way to go. This was my least favorite of the bunch.

But wait…there’s more! The one above in the back left is the ManzaNeed It, a brown ale, Nutella buttercream cupcake that was quite tasty. I’m a sucker for Nutella so this was a winner for me. Then there’s the bright pink one on the left that was the Top Ten Cake, made with Karl Strauss Tower Ten IPA, cayenne caramel, cherry, and ancho chiles. This one had a gooey center that was just too sweet for me. And last, but not least, was the one above on the middle right. The Stoned Portzilla. A combination of Stone Smoked Porter, coffee ganache, and caramelized coconut. It was very reminiscent of a Samoa Girl Scout Cookie. The top was slightly crunchy and was a great contrast to the moist cake underneath. Probably my second favorite. All in all they were really tasty, but definitely stay with the mini ones because they are ridiculously sweet (and I love cake, candy, chocolate, ice cream, gelato, pastries, cupcakes, pies, and dessert of any kind).

If you’re interested you can check out their website at www.pubcakes.com. Hopefully my website will get super popular and then I will get sweet edible kickbacks from these guys (and everyone else). Then I will quit my day job and live out my dream of subsisting on food kickbacks.

Nom Rating: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM (6 NOMS - Nomcoholic Noms)

Butter Poached Lobster!

Thu, 19 May 2011 19:30:52 -0700

Part two of my Relate pop-up restaurant experience: Butter poached lobster, warm egg and caviar salad, leeks, fennel jam, and onion froth.

If you’re not sure what a pop-up restaurant is, or you didn’t check out my first post on it, you can see it here: Relate Pop-up Restaurant Part 1

After the foodgasms that were the first two courses, I could barely contain myself when I found out I was getting lobster. I can eat unlimited quantities of lobster. There’s no such thing as all-you-can eat lobster for me. That would be all the lobster in the sea. And this wasn’t just lobster. It was lobster poached in butter. Mmm, you can almost hear Paula Deen smacking her lips in the background.

Behold:

There’s a lot going on there. It looks like it would be a lot of weird tastes mashed together, but it worked really well. I thought the onion foam would just taste like water, but it was surprisingly oniony. The whole thing was just really rich without being overwhelming, and had just the right amount of tartness. I mean I can’t really go on and on describing it because I pretty much shoveled it into my mouth without a whole lot of tasting going on. It’s lobster and caviar, don’t judge me.

This was one of the highlights of the meal for sure.

Nom Rating: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM (Nine Noms - Buttertastic nommage)

Carne Asada: Steak Heaven

Fri, 06 May 2011 15:17:00 -0700

In celebration of Cinco de Mayo I decided to make a giant pile of Mexican food. One of my favorite things to make of all time is carne asada. It’s steak, it’s flavorful, and it’s grilled to perfection. What’s not to like?

On my trip to flavor country in my homage to the real country of Mexico, I decided to go all out. Rather than just making a giant pile of carne asada, which let’s face it, I would have no real problem with, I thought I would make some sort of vegetable/starch side dish to go along with it. You know, to really class things up (the sole purpose of vegetables).

Slice slice slice, is the sound of the precision cutting of the green peppers seen above. That’s what watching food tv for three hours a day does for your knife skills. I decided to make some mexican rice to go along with the carne asada. I added green peppers, white onion, green chiles, roasted tomatoes, and jalepenos to a mix of rice and spices.

Mmmm just look at that. Much as a normal person would get lost in the eyes of a beautiful woman, I got lost looking into this simmering pot of deliciousness. Too much? Not enough? You be the judge. Either way. This dish was off to a seriously delicious start. Spicy rice with a veritable blast of mexican flavors that danced on the palate. It was delicious and deserving of being underneath the mighty carne asada.

So without further ado, I present to you, the finished product:

It’s as beautiful as it was delicious.

I had high hopes for this and it exceeded my greatest expectations. The steak was nicely charred with the crispy edges that make carne asada so delicious. The marinade helped give it tons of flavor. The bed of mexican rice was just an added flavor bonus. A little bit of lime and cilantro on top of it all and I was pretty much drooling on my plate. It’s hard to describe how things taste. And I’m not even going to make a serious effort here (I tried, it was a miserable failure). So suffice it to say, noms were had. Giant noms. Epic noms. Legendary noms of mythic proportions. I have seen nomvana, and it was good.

Nom Rating: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM (Flawless Nomage)